There must be an equal exchange of giving and taking in adult relationships. Blind Love vs. Conscious Love
It is impossible to discuss this work without addressing the controversy that surrounds Hellinger. Conversations with Bert Hellinger does not shy away from this. The text often reads like a fencing match between Hellinger and his interlocutor, Gabriele ten Hövel.
You're interested in a story that illustrates the concept of "acknowledging what is" from Bert Hellinger's work, which is often associated with his therapeutic approach known as Hellinger Therapy or Family Constellations. Hellinger's work emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and accepting reality as it is, rather than resisting or trying to change it, in order to find healing and peace. acknowledging what is conversations with bert hellinger pdf
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Every member of a family system, including those who were excluded or forgotten (such as deceased siblings or previous partners), has an equal right to belong. There must be an equal exchange of giving
Healing requires looking at the truth of a situation without judgment, blame, or justification.
Hellinger argues that we spend immense psychic energy wishing things were different. We wish our parents had been kinder; we wish a tragedy hadn’t occurred; we wish we were someone else. This constant internal battle against reality—what Hellinger calls the "should" and "ought"—creates a systemic entanglement. Conversations with Bert Hellinger does not shy away
According to the publisher’s description, ten Hovel’s voice contains “the sense of wonderment that many may have who do not understand how such an approach can work or who have only heard about statements attributed to Hellinger”. The interviewer does not shy away from controversy. Instead, tough questions are met with equally tough answers, and in the spaces between question and answer, “the formidable power of the family constellation begins to unfold”.
For readers who are interested in exploring Hellinger’s ideas further after reading Acknowledging What Is , several other books provide additional depth:
Hellinger's work is centered around several key concepts, including: